Friday, April 27, 2012

Oh the Glory!

"You are my peace and solace." It's so strange how I can be so sad and yet be so blessed. I was thinking about chapel today and how we sang and everyone was holding hands in a huge circle, singing "My friends may you grow in grace." I am so thankful for everything I have at Providence. I love all the people, even those who are so fucking loud all the time when I want to sleep or do homework. In that moment, I felt so deep a love for them all. I love all these random people who I live with in this small community of believers.
In moments like chapel, I see the koininia of the Spirit. The fellowship, how we are all one, pieces of the temple, building the temple by trusting in Jesus.

"Jesus I will hide in you." We all hide in him, our dearest lover, the lover of our souls. I cried in chapel today, even though I tried not to. I am always ashamed to cry in chapel but I shouldn't be ashamed of my emotions.

All the forces of life in this fallen world try to tear us down, but we cannot be torn down. Our strength is Christ and he bears our burdens. I can be so sad about all the changes, all the loss at Providence. I want to go sing with my brothers and sisters right now. Singing frees me. I feel like Providence is how the church should be. We are all so close, I mean in a strange way, and we care about each other. We come together and sing and you feel the passion pulsing through all of us. The passion of the Spirit. I believe God smiles at our chapel services. He must cry in joy, he delights in us.

This is what we were created for. Humans were created for this communion with each other and with God. We are one in the Spirit. An unbreakable bond. Oh God, how do you delight in me? But I am thankful you do. This is my boasting in my Lord, my everything, who waters my soul.

I went for a walk today with Karolina through the neighborhoods of Pasadena. Oh the glory, the thick deep roses that are the aroma of God. The trees, the grass, the smell of wet soil, and the sun gleaming it's last light. In times like this, I stare at a flower and I am so overwhelmed by the beauty of it that I can barely breathe. Oh glory, Oh my God who molded the flowers. Creations screams of him, I cannot hide from his presence.

Oh my God, how can I thank you enough for this bittersweet world, and all the gifts I've been given. My God, you are so good and so faithful to me, and if only I saw this all the time. I can't worry, there is nothing to worry about because this God who hides me in him, who gifts me with everything good, he loves my soul. Oh my lover, my hope, I long for eternity in your midst. Let my love last longer than the flower petal morning dew, Oh make me love you steadfastly.

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