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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

James' Search For the Moon

James went searching for the moon and pointed to a lamp post. 


What of the flowers turned to ghosts?
What of the groping dreams, and starlit nights.
What if the sun never rose in the universe of my soul?

I looked around and we were skeletons with elaborately painted masks
Silver smiles and empty eyes.
We drifted in the barren air, grabbing for every other colour
And our fingers slip like oil every time.
Being a bundle of awkwardly put together bones, and a plastic mask,
I drifted about believing I was beautiful and full.
The darkness was unsettling

When I stared at the black and dampened stars
I sensed warmth, like from the ashes of a fire just put out.
What if the sun never rose?
I’d scrape my bones, nodding, and never know flesh:
the warmth, softness, beauty.
Many a daylight spent and many a dream of you,
But James went searching for the moon,
Did he ever wake at sunrise?





Friday, December 10, 2010

I Want the Right Side of a Child's Brain

This boy thinks the disk he is holding is magical


Maybe I got the wrong message out of this movie, but it did get me thinking about the imagination of children.
Here, Watch it: http://www.vimeo.com/16965840
Dr. Belz sent it to all the English majors a few weeks ago and he said it made him cry.

Every little kid is an artist and then they grow up and become so anal and systematic that they can't be creative anymore.

I feel like I have lost my creative abilities. I used to always be narrating stories in my head, or thinking about poetry. I used to write all the time. I used to dress up, build forts and become a different person, even if no one played along with me. Even if I didn't even say any of it out loud. Then I grew up and gave up my childish games.

Time is a big issue. With the pile of school work always upon me, I rarely have time to cultivate any of the creative potential I have. I rarely have time to gather my thought.
Patricia getting ready to sing me a song she wrote
(Right now for instance, I really should be sleeping, but 2am is the only time I have to write freely)

Since we are made in God's image, all humans have creative ability. They take after their creator. I just think that people lose it far too often.

Dad used to be a writer, then he made a family and got a full time job. I'm on my way to being just that way.

I have been creative lately in the music department. Yes, I've written songs, attempted to learn piano and I sing or whistle where ever I go. Of course, I am graded for writing music, and graded for how well I sing. This is a motivation.

At the beginning of this semester, Dr. Belz was in the serving line in the cafeteria while I was working. He asked, "Hey, are you going to take my poetry class? You look like the poetic type."
I told him that no, I was not going to because I was taking history that hour. Then I asked him if he wanted vegetables with his entre.
Later, when I interview him for an article I was writing, he asked again, "So are you doing poetry?"
This was getting a little redundant. His cousin Max had asked me if I was taking the class as well.
"No, I have history, remember?"
"No. I mean are you doing poetry. I mean practicing it."
Oh.
I told him that I think my poetry sucks. He said that most good poets think their poetry sucks, but I have to keep practicing it.

Dja is a dancer, a singer, a comedian and an actress
The video is about a group of New York artists that give Peruvian street children a place to live and a new life. They give the children the gift of expression through art by teaching them in art workshops. They give the children the opportunity to create.

One of the leaders of this ministry said that he wonders how many Einsteins and Platos die in the streets without even being given a chance.

It sounds like amazing work they are doing for these children.

It just really got me thinking about how creative all people are, or can be. Of course we are creative in different ways, but I think it's important to practice creativity as Dr. Belz said. People should seek to discover where they or like to be creative.
I may never be an renowned poet, song writer or singer but I can't just stop there. I don't think God would want me to stop there. Creativity is a gift to the person that brings joy to him and those around him. Most importantly it brings glory to God, the Artist.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Micronesian Island Life

I work with a lot of Micronesians at the William Carey. Most of them do dishes and work for clean up. At the same time, all of them know how to cook and do what the rest of us do.
To be honest, I have always been grossed out by the cleaning job they have to do. The William Carey kitchen is not a tidy place. Compared to Honey Baked Ham, it's a dump. One time a saw a cockroach in the dish room!

However, the clean up crew has always been really friendly to me. Every night after serving every one in the cafeteria their food, the cook yells, "cha cha!" and the dish people come and get their food.

I wondered if cha cha was one of their names, but I wasn't sure. Every day I came into work, the dish people would say, "Hi Marissa!" and I would say Hi back and even have conversations with them sometimes. I felt terrible though, because I didn't know their names.

The other day, I got off work at 7pm and two of them, a guy and a girl invited me to eat dinner with them. Usually I don't have anyone to eat dinner with after I work, because everyone has already finished and left the cafeteria.

I sat down with them, and apologetically asked them what their names are. Lanson and Mercy is what they call themselves.

We ate our chicken and mashed potatoes, and I asked them about their lives. They both were born in the Micronesian islands. They moved to California in 2004.

Micronesia sounds fascinating! Mercy tells me that the men and women there have long thick hair because they wash themselves in cool water. They don't even have heated water there, because it's always pretty warm. She came here and her hair became thin because she washes it with heated water. I never thought of that; I wonder if hot water really does make people lose their hair faster. Men should think about that.

They have water tanks on the islands that fill up when it rains. They will come with their buckets to get water when they need to cook, wash, etc. They eat mostly fish and coconut milk. It's rare for them to drink water. When they need rice, or carosine for the fire, they will row to a bigger island.

Thry don't have electricity. They use carosine lamps for light, and they cook with a fire. When the light goes out, and it's dark, they go to sleep.

There are no cars on the island; they just walk every where. Mercy said that from where I was sitting, I would be able to see the end of the island. They don't need cars in such small areas. When they leave the island, they take canoes. Mercy and Lanson live about 35 minutes from each other traveling by canoe, on different islands.

Mercy told me stories about some Microneasian's first experiences coming to America and flying on a plane. One lady took off her shoes as she was getting on the plane. She did this out of habit because they always take off their shoes before coming in doors. When she got to America, she said that someone stole her shoes, but actually she just left them there. I guess she expected them to be outside the plane where she had left them.

Another lady didn't speak English well at all, and when she went to the baggage claim, she couldn't find her suitcase anywhere. She went to one of the workers and told him, "Someone murdered my suitcase!" He was very confused, until another lady from Micronesia asked her what she meant. She then explained to the worker, "No, she means someone stole her suit case."
Turns out, someone has actually just taken it off the carousel.

I like Mercy; she's sweet and friendly. So is Lanson, he's just a little bit shy.

Both of them miss Micronesia and I can understand why. It must be so sad for them living here, remembering the clear blue water, where they can see the fish swimming underneath their canoes.
Now they live and work in Pasadena in a dim kitchen cleaning dishes for relatively ungrateful people.
It makes me sad for them.
But I guess at least they aren't alone. There are a lot of other Micronesians too. All the security guards are Micronesian and there is the All Nations Community Church, where the pastor and most members are Micronesians.

Sometimes I wish that I could escape this civilized, high maintenance life I live and see what it's like to live like they did. All they had was the basic needs of life. I don't even know what they did for fun, or what they did for work their. I think they moved here because they were poor. The Micronesian pastor from All Nations Church talked about Micronesians being poor. Maybe that's why they had to leave paradise to come to smoggy California and work in a dirty kitchen.
These are all my presumptions. They might not hate it. I just think I would if I were in their position.

Working and capitalism are just becoming strange to me. I would really like to experience a place where you survive on what you catch and grow. You build your own house. You survive on only what you need.

I have this romantic idea of living wild and free.

In reality, that must be scary, but maybe more fulfilling than being so high maintenance like me. Like most of us. I want to move to Micronesia.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Home



The smoke escapes from my chapped lips,
My cracked numb fingers flick the cigarette,
Exhaling, ash and foggy breath.
I contemplate what it means to fit.

The old town, it’s my home town,
I'm not sure what that means. 
So long it’s been since I smelled the crisp oxygen and evergreen trees.
So long since I strolled these stony sidewalks drinking hot tea.
All around, all I see are familiar faces.
Just changed circumstances, I can't trace it. 

She’s my oldest friend, sometimes I forget.
We’ve seen the shadows come and go.
We’ve walked this town a million rounds.
Been to every gig and show,
We fail, we win. Maybe I never saw before,
She’s my oldest friend.

The memorial of buzz words, they stab:
Coffee, cigars, dancing, stars, grass...
Roaming aimlessly through the night.
The roof warmed to the heat of our bodies and there we’d sleep.
Or drive just to step on the gas.
But I could never find it alone, the top of the world.
Blast the music and let me hang my head out the window;
I’m a wild dog.
The sky is freedom going on forever.
In a sense, the highway let us fly…

This is my home town, this old town.
He’s raised me well
But I see my outline in the rearview mirror.
And I’d like to dump all these suit cases out.
They weigh on me, heavy.
This is my home town,
Though I’m not sure what ‘home’ is.

And I’m not sure where the puzzle pieces fit.






Monday, November 22, 2010

The Island

On the island, the shores sink under foot steps.
You can follow the foot steps of others for a while, 
But they lead into the water and swim away. 

On the island, close friends are a memory. 
The ebb and flow of waves, 
The wind that whispers- they mock.

On the island, most days are silent. 
The bird whistles, and you may find writing in the sand,
But words are few. 

On the island, sunny days are preferred, 
But storms brew often and hover.
It rarely rains. 

On the island, you'll find a girl, barefoot,
Whistling along the sea shore,
Living in a dream, wishing she had wings.