Monday, December 27, 2010

To See But Dimly

Today Richard at work asked what school I go to. When I told him Providence Christians College, he asked, “So are you like super religious or something?”
 “Well no.”  Then I stopped to think for a moment.
I knew he was taken aback by my quick answer and I was too. I proceeded to explain myself.
 “I don’t really consider myself religious the way people mean religious when they say that word. It’s not a bunch of things you have to do; it’s a worldview, a way of thinking.”
The more I thought about it, I began to realize that this really is true. When I ponder about how God has changed my life, more than anything, he has changed my mind. Actions always are rooted in previous thoughts, and that’s why he always starts with my mind.
Looking at the world through the lenses of Scripture is unnatural for me, but through the Spirit’s transforming me, it is possible.
Just three months ago I worked with these people at Honey Baked and I was quite comfortable with them. Yet I have noticed since my return, that their conversation topics and senses of humor are now quite different from my own.
I find myself looking down on my coworker for her thought processes concerning her boyfriend, and then I realize that not 6 months ago, I would have thought the same. It’s amazing how God molds me when I’m not even paying attention. Suddenly I realize I have changed. I only realized it because corruption sometimes reveals the straight line.
When I was a child, God was God, and Jesus was a man who died for my sins. I knew of sin, but I didn’t quite understand why sin was sin and what it meant that God was God. As I grew older, by God’s grace (and don’t let me forget that it is by grace alone), he has given me eyes to see, even if dimly.
What I feel now is this sudden awareness of the reality of my new mind. It’s been in the process of formation for years and it still is being molded, but only now am I explicitly aware of it.
“Seek God and he will give you the desires of your heart.” The amazing thing is that God changes my desires, giving me a heart after his own by renewing my mind.
I can hardly fathom it!

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