Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Fraction

This is a summary of a conversation I had with someone.

I walked to Rite Aid before weight training and I saw this bum sitting on the sidewalk. He was asking for change, mumbling more like, with his head down as if he was ashamed to ask. People were stepping over him like he was a trash bag or something. That depressed me so much to see him like that.
I gave him what change I had, thirty cents. I offered him a cigarettes and he just said, "Sure." I asked him if he needed a light and he just said no.
I talked to my Dad about it and told him how frustrated I was. He just told me that I should tell him about a homeless shelter and take him there. But I told him that it's not like homeless shelters are in some secret place. Bums know where homeless shelters are. Is that what we do with bums? Take them to the homeless shelter like we take dogs to the pound? Too many of them on the street so we take them someplace else.
The thing is, I am no different than I bum. I beg people for change so I can buy myself a damn pack, or I beg people for cigarettes. But if that guy walked into Rite Aid people would watch him like crazy. People would be all worried, yet people trust me. Why?
Why does society treat them like they have no value, like somehow I have more value than that bum?
They are dehumanized.
I went to weight training after that and I couldn't do anything and I got really pissed off. I ran for 1:40 and I was tired. I couldn't lift anything. That's how I feel about this bum problem. I can't do anything. I am so damn powerless to change anything.
When I was in 7th grade there was this fraction that I really wanted to solve but no matter what I did I couldn't solve it. I couldn't get the right answer so I started crying. I was in 7th grade crying over a fucking math problem and everyone in the class was laughing at me. This is like the ultimate fraction for me. I don't know the answer and it frustrates the hell out of me. It makes me feel so damn pointless.
What do I do? I get an education and learn about why our system is so screwed up. Why there is poverty. And what do I do when I get out of college? I get a job and buy into the system and become a part of the machine that creates oppression. What the hell am I supposed to do? I want to do something but I don't know what the hell to do!

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